Summer Rain 5:12 AM

Lately my life has felt like a sudden summer shower. We had a great one this past Sunday afternoon and it got me thinking...

There is something bittersweet about summer showers. People are out mowing the lawn, having barbeques, walking their dogs, when seemingly out of nowhere...rain. And not just a sprinkling but an all out downpour. We are forced to stop whatever we're doing and take cover. We are forced to be still.

On the other hand they are refreshing. The dry, hot ground and stagnant air are rejuvenated. All of this while the sun is still shining. Bursting brightly through the heavy droplets of rain making them sparkle, giving them life.

God has allowed some sudden showers in my life this year. Showers that have suddenly changed the climate of my family life and work life. Unexpected, and at first...unwelcome.

I've essentially been stopped dead in my tracks...forced to step away from my normal. I've had to learn what it means to BE STILL. Unable to make the rain stop, I've had to learn to see the beauty in it. To see God in it, and receive the refreshment that comes from a renewed closeness to my Savior.

Are you in the middle of a sudden change of weather? Perhaps God is shining through your droplets of circumstance, worry and fear. Step out of the rain and into Him. Then take a second to gaze out and see His Shining Face, washing hope & peace over you.

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace. -Numbers 6:24-26


He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work, he stops all people from their labor. -Job 37:6-7


I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. -Psalm 61:4

Wake Up 8:26 PM

Since January, I have been trying to push myself to do things I have been putting off for years. For one example, I joined Weight Watchers and made a goal to lose 20 pounds and I am almost there. As part of reaching that goal I signed up for a 10K at the beginning of May. (not quite a marathon...but baby steps:)

It has been difficult. There have been many weeks that I have wanted to quit. I wanted to go back to shoveling nachos and ice cream and pizza and burgers in my mouth whenever I wanted, and cuddling up with Lola on the couch instead of lacing up my shoes to go out and run. I've done the easy thing so long, that now, doing the right thing has been a serious struggle. Doing the right thing is hard.

And much like my goals for weight loss and running, living a good life...a good story, is hard. It's an everyday, every moment decision. But what is the alternative??? Living an easy life, a boring story? Blah. No thanks. I have had enough of that to know that it's just a horrible trap. Satan’s lullaby if you will.

I recently read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller....and my goodness, it was amazing. It touched my heart in so many ways. It touched that part of my Spirit that is just yearning for the rest of me to wake up and live the life God is directing. That part that’s never asleep and makes me restless when I’m living boring.

This is something he said that I find to be so true....

"Here is the truth about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it. It's like that with writing books, and it's like that with life. People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain."

After pushing myself on a long run, my body hurts, I am sweaty, and my face looks like a red pepper, but my goodness....am I happy. I am so proud of myself, and I literally thank God for allowing me to make it through. I am not at the point yet where I like to run. (don't know if I will ever get there) So during the run I am praying and playing all types of mental games to finish. But when I do finish, absolutely nothing inside me says, I wish I would have slept in instead.

So why do I sleep in for other, BIGGER parts of my life?

Why are most of us living boring stories? The kind of stories that no one is really going to be inspired by, or cry, or laugh about, or tell others about when they're done? God did not create us for this sleep walking we're doing. He is not a boring God, and He does not create boring stories...we do.

Let's do the hard things. The things that God whispers to us that make our hearts jump even if the rest of us want so badly to stay in bed. Let's wake up.

For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. -Ephesians 2:6-10

The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. -Psalm 37:23-24

Olly Olly Oxen Free 11:52 PM

Olly olly oxen free is a catchphrase used in such children's games as hide and seek to indicate that players who are hiding can come out into the open without losing the game. - wikipedia

Have you been hiding? Hiding the person you really are? Hiding your dreams? Hiding from what God has created in you?

When I asked God to show me what grace is, I had no idea He would want to teach me so much about a beloved piece of art He created. No, not the sky, or the trees, or the birds, or the ocean. Not His amazing Word, or His saints who have come before. He wanted to teach me about a creature He knit together with great care and joy in the darkness of my mother's womb. Me.

I am a middle child. Shy. Quiet. I asked my mother what I was like when I was really, really young, and she said I liked to play alone. I could be alone for hours, creating my own fun in my head. My own controllable stories. I have always been that way. I have so many ideas, so much wonder, so much desire....but so little that comes up and out. Still shy...still quiet. Afraid of being heard, and at the same time, afraid of not being heard.

So I hide. I still try and play alone. In my own head. Controlling my outcome. But I have found that my game is no fun. My stories are predictable and anticlimactic. They always end the same way. In the air...floating away like a vapor.

But there is another game. Another story to be a part of. And it is absolutely spectacular. I hear God calling..."Olly olly oxen free! All of you children, who have been in hiding...come on out. You will not lose the game by showing yourselves!"

All we need to do is believe that when He says You are Free...You are Free Indeed. Free to be you. Free to jump into the flow of His Grace...His Story. He has a special part for you to play, and He created you especially for that part. What a waste it would be if you did not play. What a travesty it would be to tell God what His creation can and cannot do.

Grace means knowing you are enough, you have enough, because your Source is unlimited.

And knowing that In Him, you are in a perpetual state of olly olly oxen free.

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” - Exodus 4:10-12

The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!”
 
The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!”  Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth!" - Jeremiah 1:4-9
 
Speaking of speaking...I have decided to come out of hiding to enter this post for a chance to win a scholarship to the She Speaks Conference this year. She Speaks Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God, and I would be thrilled to play any part in that, as He leads. Click here to view more details on this outstanding scholarship opportunity.

Allowing is Like Jumping 6:56 AM

For more on allowing check out last week's post.

A theme of Grace that God has been showing me is trust. In order to fully experience Grace, a reckless kind of trust is needed.

I get the feeling that it is like throwing yourself into the sea while not yet knowing how to swim. Sure you've heard of swimming before. You've heard that when you dive in, the water will pull you up again. That if you surrender to it, it will enable you to float. And that when you try and go against the current, you will experience fatigue, putting yourself at risk of drowning. You must allow it to take you where it wishes, because instinctively doing what you think will save your life will actually kill it. You must surrender.

You cannot learn how to swim from books or from what you hear, and in the same way, you will not know Grace until you throw yourself into it. And I hope you do not get the sense that I am talking from experience, because I am not. I feel like I am still up on the rock. Leaning...then shying away...then looking over again, heart racing, and then backing off. It seems crazy. Why would I leave this place I know, where everything is safe, to jump into the unknown? The unpredictable? But I know it is the only way to truly find out what Grace is. I have to fully surrender. Not just with my words, but in every single area of my life.

I have to fully trust that God's flow of Grace will take me exactly where I need to go. That as I swim along with the waves of the Spirit, I will see amazing sights, and gasp at the beauty I encounter....things I would have never experienced had I chosen to stay on dry ground.

Why do we choose the safety of a dull, gray life, when God is right there offering to take us on an adventure, filled with that "make you feel like you're alive" joy and grit, and unimaginable beauty?

It's the same lie we've believed since the garden,"God is trying to keep something from you. You know what is best for you, don't let God ruin that." And look at how Adam and Eve fared...not to mention the rest of us. I love this C.S. Lewis Quote:

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

He's there. Calling you with His Hand out. "Come. Lose your life, and gain it ALL!"

I want to jump. Won't you jump with me?

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it.  And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed? -Luke 9:24-25

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. -Hebrews 11:6