The Pursuit of Holiness

So lately it seems like I cannot do anything I put my mind to. What in the world is wrong with me?! I plan to wake up early to pray and study, and I ALWAYS sleep too long. I plan to write on this blog every week, and I ALWAYS put it off. I plan to be there more for my husband, and I ALWAYS wiggle out of it. (to name a few) Why can't I put an end to this struggle I have with sin in my life. My laziness and continual putting my husband low on my priority list is driving me nuts. The weird thing is that these are the things I look forward to most, (spending time with God, and spending time with my husband) and yet I seem to sabotage them. And for what?! For extra sleep or some extra tv/couch time? Are you kidding me? I think I realize how a drug or sex addict feels. After I have slept in too long, or laid on the couch and wasted my time once again, I have a heavy feeling of remorse. I feel dirty...like, "What have I done? Why do I keep doing this to myself?" It was kind of funny for a while, but now I am thoroughly fed up! (Angry even) Let's call it what it is....sin. When you are doing something you feel strongly convicted about, even if it is thought of as "socially acceptable", it is still sin and not pleasing to God. I can very easily see what Paul meant when he said this,

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. -Romans 7:21 - 8:2

Last week I went and picked up this book from the library. I cannot tell you how helpful it has been in my understanding of sin's role in my life. You see, just as the passage above stated, I was once a slave to sin. But when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior the power of sin was lifted off of me. I was freed from it's dominion. But because I was born a slave to sin, my natural tendency is to revert to my slave mindset. I have allowed it reign over me too long. I have the power of the Holy Spirit living in me that, as hard as it may seem, will enable me to live a holy life...one that is pleasing to God and one that is clean and ready for His use. When we continue to live in habitual sin we are not fully abiding in The Vine that produces fruit in our lives.....and I am tired of being a fruitless Christian!

In the first chapter Jerry Bridges outlines three reasons why we as Christians today do not experience more holiness in our daily living...

1. "Our first problem is that our attitude towards sin is more self-centered than God-centered. We are more concerned about our own 'victory' over sin than we are about the fact that our sins grieve the heart of God. We cannot tolerate failure in our struggle with sin chiefly because we are success-oriented, not because we know it is offensive to God."

2. "Our second problem is that we have misunderstood 'living by faith' to mean that no effort at holiness is required on our part. In fact, sometimes we have even suggested that any effort on our part is 'of the flesh'."

3. "Our third problem is that we do not take some sin seriously. We have mentally categorized sins into that which is unacceptable and that which is may be tolerated a bit.....But scripture says it is 'the little foxes that ruin the vineyards.' It is compromise on the little issues that lead to greater downfalls."

All three of these reasons were true in my struggle.

I have decided to live as a free woman. To see sin the way God sees it and to stop giving in so easily to it. I need to see the fact that it not only takes away from the fruitfulness of my walk with God, but it grieves Him deeply. Also, I cannot keep thinking that He will magically give me some special power to effortlessly break my bad habits....it is going to hurt, but I have do some work on my end. Lastly I cannot see my sins as cute or trivial. Christ died for my laziness and wastefulness just as much as He died for sexual immorality and right out cruelty.

I am happy to say that in the past week God has truly streghtened me as I have dug my heals into the dirt to press on to the call which He has placed on my life. Will you run this race with me? Will you determine with me that sin cannot have a place in your life if you plan to be used fully by God? Search our hearts Lord. Know our anxious thoughts....point out anything in us that is offensive to You...and lead us along the path everlasting. Amen.

In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. - 2 Timothy 2:20-21