Honeybee Ministries

Summer Rain

2011-07-08T05:12:00.000-05:00

Lately my life has felt like a sudden summer shower. We had a great one this past Sunday afternoon and it got me thinking...

There is something bittersweet about summer showers. People are out mowing the lawn, having barbeques, walking their dogs, when seemingly out of nowhere...rain. And not just a sprinkling but an all out downpour. We are forced to stop whatever we're doing and take cover. We are forced to be still.

On the other hand they are refreshing. The dry, hot ground and stagnant air are rejuvenated. All of this while the sun is still shining. Bursting brightly through the heavy droplets of rain making them sparkle, giving them life.

God has allowed some sudden showers in my life this year. Showers that have suddenly changed the climate of my family life and work life. Unexpected, and at first...unwelcome.

I've essentially been stopped dead in my tracks...forced to step away from my normal. I've had to learn what it means to BE STILL. Unable to make the rain stop, I've had to learn to see the beauty in it. To see God in it, and receive the refreshment that comes from a renewed closeness to my Savior.

Are you in the middle of a sudden change of weather? Perhaps God is shining through your droplets of circumstance, worry and fear. Step out of the rain and into Him. Then take a second to gaze out and see His Shining Face, washing hope & peace over you.

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace. -Numbers 6:24-26

He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work, he stops all people from their labor. -Job 37:6-7

I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. -Psalm 61:4

Wake Up

2011-04-25T20:26:00.000-05:00

Since January, I have been trying to push myself to do things I have been putting off for years. For one example, I joined Weight Watchers and made a goal to lose 20 pounds and I am almost there. As part of reaching that goal I signed up for a 10K at the beginning of May. (not quite a marathon...but baby steps:)

It has been difficult. There have been many weeks that I have wanted to quit. I wanted to go back to shoveling nachos and ice cream and pizza and burgers in my mouth whenever I wanted, and cuddling up with Lola on the couch instead of lacing up my shoes to go out and run. I've done the easy thing so long, that now, doing the right thing has been a serious struggle. Doing the right thing is hard.

And much like my goals for weight loss and running, living a good life...a good story, is hard. It's an everyday, every moment decision. But what is the alternative??? Living an easy life, a boring story? Blah. No thanks. I have had enough of that to know that it's just a horrible trap. Satan’s lullaby if you will.

I recently read A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller....and my goodness, it was amazing. It touched my heart in so many ways. It touched that part of my Spirit that is just yearning for the rest of me to wake up and live the life God is directing. That part that’s never asleep and makes me restless when I’m living boring.

This is something he said that I find to be so true....

"Here is the truth about telling stories with your life. It's going to sound like a great idea, and you are going to get excited about it, and then when it comes time to do the work, you're not going to want to do it. It's like that with writing books, and it's like that with life. People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain."

After pushing myself on a long run, my body hurts, I am sweaty, and my face looks like a red pepper, but my goodness....am I happy. I am so proud of myself, and I literally thank God for allowing me to make it through. I am not at the point yet where I like to run. (don't know if I will ever get there) So during the run I am praying and playing all types of mental games to finish. But when I do finish, absolutely nothing inside me says, I wish I would have slept in instead.

So why do I sleep in for other, BIGGER parts of my life?

Why are most of us living boring stories? The kind of stories that no one is really going to be inspired by, or cry, or laugh about, or tell others about when they're done? God did not create us for this sleep walking we're doing. He is not a boring God, and He does not create boring stories...we do.

Let's do the hard things. The things that God whispers to us that make our hearts jump even if the rest of us want so badly to stay in bed. Let's wake up.

For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. -Ephesians 2:6-10

The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand. -Psalm 37:23-24

Olly Olly Oxen Free

2011-04-01T23:52:00.000-05:00

Olly olly oxen free is a catchphrase used in such children's games as hide and seek to indicate that players who are hiding can come out into the open without losing the game. - wikipedia

Have you been hiding? Hiding the person you really are? Hiding your dreams? Hiding from what God has created in you?

When I asked God to show me what grace is, I had no idea He would want to teach me so much about a beloved piece of art He created. No, not the sky, or the trees, or the birds, or the ocean. Not His amazing Word, or His saints who have come before. He wanted to teach me about a creature He knit together with great care and joy in the darkness of my mother's womb. Me.

I am a middle child. Shy. Quiet. I asked my mother what I was like when I was really, really young, and she said I liked to play alone. I could be alone for hours, creating my own fun in my head. My own controllable stories. I have always been that way. I have so many ideas, so much wonder, so much desire....but so little that comes up and out. Still shy...still quiet. Afraid of being heard, and at the same time, afraid of not being heard.

So I hide. I still try and play alone. In my own head. Controlling my outcome. But I have found that my game is no fun. My stories are predictable and anticlimactic. They always end the same way. In the air...floating away like a vapor.

But there is another game. Another story to be a part of. And it is absolutely spectacular. I hear God calling..."Olly olly oxen free! All of you children, who have been in hiding...come on out. You will not lose the game by showing yourselves!"

All we need to do is believe that when He says You are Free...You are Free Indeed. Free to be you. Free to jump into the flow of His Grace...His Story. He has a special part for you to play, and He created you especially for that part. What a waste it would be if you did not play. What a travesty it would be to tell God what His creation can and cannot do.

Grace means knowing you are enough, you have enough, because your Source is unlimited.

And knowing that In Him, you are in a perpetual state of olly olly oxen free.

But Moses pleaded with the Lord, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words. I never have been, and I’m not now, even though you have spoken to me. I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled.”

Then the Lord asked Moses, “Who makes a person’s mouth? Who decides whether people speak or do not speak, hear or do not hear, see or do not see? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” - Exodus 4:10-12

The Lord gave me this message: “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

“O Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I can’t speak for you! I’m too young!”

The Lord replied, “Don’t say, ‘I’m too young,’ for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and will protect you. I, the Lord, have spoken!” Then the Lord reached out and touched my mouth and said, “Look, I have put my words in your mouth!" - Jeremiah 1:4-9

Speaking of speaking...I have decided to come out of hiding to enter this post for a chance to win a scholarship to the She Speaks Conference this year. She Speaks Conference is about women connecting the hearts of women to the heart of our Father God, and I would be thrilled to play any part in that, as He leads. Click here to view more details on this outstanding scholarship opportunity.

Allowing is Like Jumping

2011-03-23T06:56:00.003-05:00

For more on allowing check out last week's post.

A theme of Grace that God has been showing me is trust. In order to fully experience Grace, a reckless kind of trust is needed.

I get the feeling that it is like throwing yourself into the sea while not yet knowing how to swim. Sure you've heard of swimming before. You've heard that when you dive in, the water will pull you up again. That if you surrender to it, it will enable you to float. And that when you try and go against the current, you will experience fatigue, putting yourself at risk of drowning. You must allow it to take you where it wishes, because instinctively doing what you think will save your life will actually kill it. You must surrender.

You cannot learn how to swim from books or from what you hear, and in the same way, you will not know Grace until you throw yourself into it. And I hope you do not get the sense that I am talking from experience, because I am not. I feel like I am still up on the rock. Leaning...then shying away...then looking over again, heart racing, and then backing off. It seems crazy. Why would I leave this place I know, where everything is safe, to jump into the unknown? The unpredictable? But I know it is the only way to truly find out what Grace is. I have to fully surrender. Not just with my words, but in every single area of my life.

I have to fully trust that God's flow of Grace will take me exactly where I need to go. That as I swim along with the waves of the Spirit, I will see amazing sights, and gasp at the beauty I encounter....things I would have never experienced had I chosen to stay on dry ground.

Why do we choose the safety of a dull, gray life, when God is right there offering to take us on an adventure, filled with that "make you feel like you're alive" joy and grit, and unimaginable beauty?

It's the same lie we've believed since the garden,"God is trying to keep something from you. You know what is best for you, don't let God ruin that." And look at how Adam and Eve fared...not to mention the rest of us. I love this C.S. Lewis Quote:

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

He's there. Calling you with His Hand out. "Come. Lose your life, and gain it ALL!"

I want to jump. Won't you jump with me?

If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed? -Luke 9:24-25

And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. -Hebrews 11:6

What is My Part in Grace?

2011-03-14T15:37:00.001-05:00

Happy Monday all....and happy beginnings of Spring! I am so excited every year when Spring rolls around. I love to see the beauty of new life sprouting everywhere I look....and yet now that I think of it, there is beauty in the death of Autumn as well. Leave it to God to give us such a gorgeous illustration for our Faith Walk.

As I shared in my last post, God is teaching me quite a bit about grace. You'd think that after being a Christian for a little over 8 years I'd have a clue, but sadly I don't. However, I am taking pleasure in allowing Him to teach me. To erase all the erroneous non-sense I have been believing, because it simply was not working. There is hope in the fact that I had it all wrong.

So I am going to let you in on the lessons that I've been receiving from Him. Just small tid bits here and there as He puts it on my heart to share.

I was writing in my journal today and had a little epiphany...

"....There is so much in my spirit that wants to bubble up...but I stop it. Why?! Oh Father, I guess my part in grace is allowing.

Waking up when You nudge me (the first time), opening my mouth when You tell me to, as well as shutting it when You tell me to. Signing up for a thing when You urge me, and giving my time and energy and money when You tell me to do so....as well as passing when You haven't.

Help me to be obedient and sensitive to Your leading."

Then on chattingatthesky I read this in a post on grace called The Unforced Rhythms...Emily simply posts this passage. I love it in The Message translation...

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. -Matthew 11:28-30

Oh how I desire to live this way. Freely and lightly. And not the "fake rest" that I have been taking that yields no fruit...no real joy...no real rest...but resting in Him as He does His work through me. And somehow I always get scared that He will put something on me that will be horrid. But look at what He says here...."I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you." He is the One Who created you...specifically for what He planned for you. Now trust Him enough to jump into the flow of grace.

I love Philippians 2:13...

For God is working in you, giving you the desire AND the power to do what pleases him. (emphasis mine)

How cruel would it be for Him to give us the desire and yet no power. That is how I've felt for a while now....so much desire and no power. And all because I was looking to the wrong source....me.

So I have come to the small yet significant conclusion....my part is simply allowing it all.

I am curious...have you learned this lesson yet? More on this later...

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. . -John 15:4-5

Living by...grace?

2011-03-10T12:05:00.001-06:00

First off...every time you see a big break in between my posts it's probably because God is working something in me that is hard to put into words. And He's done it again. It's still hard to put into words, and although I've crafted two posts that attempt to tie it all up in a pretty bow, I don't feel released to publish them. I felt a nudge to publish my journal entry for this morning instead.

Dear Lord,

I just want to thank You. I feel very foggy, and a bit confused about all that You are doing right now, but nontheless, I am grateful.

For a split second I felt like I had it figured out, and I was doing great in pretty much every area of my life. Then it got a little difficult to keep it all up and I began dropping balls. (seems to be a theme for me)

I started hearing messages on grace left and right.

And Lord, here I am. Not quite understanding it but wanting to learn. Not quite doing life perfectly, in fact, doing it very imperfectly and messy, but Lord in the midst of the mess, I am grateful that You are teaching me something new.

A more peaceful way to live. A more fruitful way to live. A more joyful way to live.

In dependance of You....The Vine...My Life Source.

No life is not perfect. I am not perfect. But I am beginning to see (even though I know this, I need to see it) that You are not looking down on me with grief or shaking Your Head when You look at my life.

Help me to clearly see it Lord. Help me to really know that I cannot earn Your Pleasure in me. I already have it, but cannot see it. Help me to see You as You really are and not who I've made up.

Teach me, show me what grace is.

And let me live a life marked by total surrender, total dependance.....full of grace.

In Jesus Name,
amen

A Lesson from the Birds

2011-02-06T19:15:00.027-06:00

During this gray and dreary winter I have come to realize something about myself. I am for sure a sunshine person. I absolutely love it. It does something deep for me to look up and see a bright blue sky and a brilliant glistening sun showering my face and skin with warmth. I'm one of those people who sits on the sunny side at the coffee shop...you know that spot that's like 100 degrees and shockingly bright. I actually imagine that I can feel God's love more tangibly, and happy moments that come my way are intensified by a beautiful sky as if it's some sort of mood altering drug.

So it goes without saying (if you live in the US) that this winter has brought anything but sunshine. Rain, snow, sleet, fog....but barely a glimpse of sunshine. It's been a little tough on my sun lovin self. What's happening inside of me would say otherwise. It seems that on the inside I am experiencing the beginnings of spring. But without the sun to share it with I feel like I'm not able to enjoy to the full. I've felt convicted about this mindset.

Jesus once told us to look at the birds for a lesson in how the Lord provides. Well He told me to look at the birds for a lesson in joy. Real, lasting joy does not come from a perfect husband, or a clean house, or toned abs, and it certainly does not come from a sunny day.

You see, I love to watch the birds. Particularly on a sunny morning as I take my pup out. I let her do her thing while I gaze up at the sky to throw up a few praises. I join the birds in what seems to be an amazing concert for God. They dance and play and sing with all their little mights. They do it all in great unison, as if it's choreographed. I am almost sure they are praising God for a new day. And I believe it makes Him smile.

Well this morning as I looked up and clutched my coat shut, I saw them. But this time the sky was gray and dull. The air was damp and thick and cold. But there they were. Putting on their concert anyhow. And I could feel my Jesus gently say, "Melissa, take a lesson from these little birds."

Winter will not last forever, but while it's here, I will choose to see the beauty in it. I've decided to no longer look to the sun for my joy but to The Son - who is my Joy and my Strength....and like those little birds taught me....my Song.

Praise you Lord. Love You Lord.

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. -Isaiah 12:2

Sing to the LORD, for he has done glorious things; let this be known to all the world. Shout aloud and sing for joy, people of Zion, for great is the Holy One of Israel among you." -Isaiah 12:5-6

Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights. -Habakkuk 3:17-19

The Drought of 2010

2011-01-30T20:43:00.030-06:00

Have you ever been dry....really dry? I was talking to a friend of mine who told me about her post pardon depression. She smiled as she confessed that about 2 months ago, the fog lifted. In that moment I knew exactly what she was talking about. No, I have never had post pardon depression...I suppose you need to have a baby to qualify for that. But I have been in such a dry place in my soul, that I had hoped for something reasonable and explainable to blame it on. I wanted some doctor to tell me it was my birth control pills, or maybe what I had been eating, or maybe I wasn't getting enough sleep at night.

Have you ever been there? You can't seem to do anything productive. You see others around you. Productive, disciplined, moving people, and you say, I want to do that. I want to press past this. I want to get off the couch and do something meaningful. But when it comes time to dig deep...nothing. That drive, that desire, that hope had left the building. You cry, you grunt, you pout, you sigh....but nothing. It's like trying to squeeze water out of a rock.

As I look back at 2010, I wonder...why? What was different about those months. Why was my heart so disturbed, why was I so sad, why did I not feel that umph for life? Why did my life go from being filled with hope and purpose, to breathing. Just breathing one breath after another, going from day to day, until they were blended together like a mush of bland memories.

The answer....I really don't know. But here are a few things that I do know. I know that I experienced a severe spiritual drought. I know that through that process I was broken. I know that sometimes God will allow drought, He will allow brokenness, to cultivate within us a deeper longing for Him...and only for Him. Because all those things we thought would quench our thirst failed. As I look back through my journals for the year, I see a persisting trend, "God, please forgive me for continuing to waste my time. For continuing to choose comfort in the form of sleep, and food, and the couch instead of time with you, and discipline, and fanning the flames of my spiritual gifts." In the words of Dr. Phill..."Has was that workin for ya?" Did I find comfort....no. I found quite the opposite.

I felt like I was trying to climb a steep hill. I would climb up about 2 or 3 steps, and then get tired and distracted, and I'd fall right back down to the foot of the hill. It was maddening. By the end of the year I saw that my journal entries got fewer in further between. My time with the Lord began on shaky footing in January, trickled to occasional and rushed in June, and by December, it was almost nonexistent.

But this month, I prayed a usual prayer of desperation, and God answered in a new way. Sure He had still been there last year. He gave me lovely gifts, He spoke with me, He was still there...just not in the same capacity as I had experienced in the past. But a couple of weeks ago, He answered in a new way. He graciously...as my friend described....lifted the cloud... He filled me with new water. Water that tasted oh so refreshing, oh so life giving to this thirsty soul. I needed it more than I knew.

And to my surprise, The Lord has provided me with a strength and determination that I have never had. Things have literally become easier to me. It's crazy. It's God.

I cannot express how happy I am to be back on the hill. The hill that I only stared at all of 2010. I looked up and watched people climbing it, happy, a bit sweaty, sometimes bloody, but still filled with joy and determination. I am happy to be one of those joy filled, sweaty, determined people. And I can say with certainty that I would not enjoy climbing like I do if I had not had to sit it out and watch for so long.

My dear friend, if you are at the foot of the hill right now, let me tell you....there is hope. It will not be forever. Do not lose sight of your God. He may seem distant, but He is still there with you. He sees you. He loves you. He will not leave you. And at just the right time He will pull you up, dust your butt off, fill you with living water, and give you the boost you need to get to climbing!

Thank You Lord. I know that You have a purpose for every season in my life. Even when I am not faithful, even when I choose to be distant, You are always faithful and You are always with me. YOU pursue me Lord. You pursue me? I cannot get my mind around that fact. Thank You Father. I will always love You for that. My heart is Yours...I love You forever.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. - Psalm 42:1-5

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. - Psalm 23:6

When God Breathes New Life

2011-01-24T22:43:00.008-06:00

I sat on my couch last Thursday night, swimming in a pool of my insecurities. Austin was out of town and I was alone with my laptop open knowing I should have been in bed.

I sat there thinking about how wonderfully things had been going for a lot of my friends. New things were happening and steps were being taken towards dreams. Life for them meant something. It was alive for them.

I, on the other hand, sat in a shell of who I used to be. I used to have dreams and hopes. I used to work towards those things, but now I sat thinking about how I had let go of those things. I let life tell me that I had been foolish to think that with God anything was possible.

So I wrote God an email. Yes, an email. I was too lazy to write another journal entry by hand so I wrote an email to myself that was addressed to God. I complained, and pouted, and whined and then I apologized. After I was done ranting, I simply pleaded, "Lord, a life without a hope, without a dream, is dead one. Oh Father, please help me. Please give me a hope. Place Your Dream in my heart. Breathe new life into me." I took a deep breath, and hit send.

After a few seconds I was prompted to go to a blog I go to often. There were no new posts, but I remember the author suggesting a couple of her friends' blogs the day before. I clicked on the one whose title stood out to me....chatting at the sky. As I read I felt The Lord breathe hope, desire, thirst, hunger, and dreams back into me. My cheeks felt rosy again, my eyes regained their sparkle, and my heart began to dance! The Lord confirmed what my crazy heart had been whispering for a while now. A dream that seems so silly when I say it aloud. But He clearly whispered back, "Yes Melissa, this is the dream that I have placed in your heart...and with Me, nothing is impossible." He called me to write.

these photos were taken on Tybee Island one October sunrise. i basically forced my sister to come ride an hour out with me at the crack of dawn....but man was it worth it. it felt as if The Lord was literally breathing refreshment into our souls. (forgive the quality...they were taken on my phone)

My dear friend, what does your heart whisper to you? What dream do you keep locked up like a secret that you are ashamed to share? Could it be that God has placed that dream in your heart? Perhaps He placed it there not so much for the sake of the dream, but for the sake of your faith. He is using it as a spiritual weight, and as you lift it your faith gets stronger and stronger, but don't get too comfortable...He tends to add weight from time to time to keep us growing.

Don't be afraid of your calling. Don't let the sheer impossibility of it all and the fear of what people may think cause you to shrink back. Because after all, The Lord is your Helper...what can mere people do to you?

So close your eyes, lift up a prayer, and allow it to flood in...the new life, the new hope, the new dream that God is breathing your way.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. -Proverbs 13:12

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. - Isaiah 43:19

"...Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:7-9

A GPS Mentality

2011-01-17T13:05:00.010-06:00

How have the first 2 weeks of your year been? Any resolutions? I made a few new year's resolutions...if you know me, you know that this is a must...but you also know that I make lots of resolutions, all year round, and that they don't usually stick. I think that I am finally beginning to be honest with myself. Up until this past year I thought of myself as super human. I thought...if I put my mind to it, I can do anything. And I could probably do it easily. Well, after falling on my butt enough times these past few years (especially in 2010), I realize that while it is very easy to put my mind to something, it is not quite as easy to get the rest of me to cooperate.

Nonetheless, I made some New Year's Resolutions. You see as much as my body wants me to quit, my heart just won't let some things go. Two things at the top of my list that are constant struggles for me are... (there are others...but I feel like anyone can relate to these)

1. Spending time with God Everyday (quality time....not rushed)
2. Be Healthier All Around (make better food choices, and work out 4x a week)

These two things make me a better, happier person all around and affect every relationship I have, including the one with myself. During the past two weeks, I have made progress on both....and have had some setbacks on each as well. My usual pattern would be to try to do perfect in every area of my life starting Monday...then I would mess it up by noon on Monday...screw it up more on Tuesday....and give up by Wednesday. At that point I would say, "This week is too far gone, I'll begin fresh next Monday." And the crazy cycle just goes on and on and on...until a whole year has passed and I am no better off than I was when it began.

A few weeks ago I picked up a book called Made to Crave. It is a great book about finding our joy and comfort in God rather than food. Then I found out the author, Lysa Terkeurst, was doing a free webcast for 6 straight Monday nights on the book. (it started last week....tune in tonight!...it's good stuff) I watched this past Monday and was really encouraged. One concept in particular stuck in my mind. A woman named Katherine Lee was on, and gave some great advice on setbacks. She said that we all need to adopt a GPS mentality. When you are going along getting to your destination listening to your pleasant sounding GPS, and then make a wrong turn...does your GPS yell at you? Does it condemn your stupid choice and tell you that you'll never get to where you set out to go? Does it tell you to just quit and go back home? No, it very calmly says something like, "Make a legal U-Turn when possible." Well, we need to be as kind to ourselves as our GPS's are. When we get off track and make a few wrong turns, there is no need to give up or say you'll start again next week...no...wherever you are, just make a legal u-turn and get back on track.

So when I sleep in, yet again, instead of enjoying quality time with my Lord, and when I decide to eat those nachos rather than that nutritious salad, I will choose to have a GPS Mentality. Instead of beating myself up and going back to square one, I will from now on realize I made a wrong turn, (but also acknowledge all the right turns I've made so far) turn around, and keep towards my goal. I hope you will do the same this year.

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. But we must hold on to the progress we have already made. - Phillipians 3:12-16

Lazy Saturday

2010-12-11T15:12:00.022-06:00

I am in the most thankful of mindsets right now as I think of how blessed I am to be able to do this ever so often. It is rainy and chilly and gray out, and I've spent the day curled up on the couch with my Lola and a book. Austin went out and brought me back a delicious latte and bagel so I have not had to exert the tiniest bit of energy thus far. The book I am reading is called Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist and has been a joy to read at this point in my life. The tag line reads...thoughts on change, grace, and learning the hard way. Funny thing is I was at the bookstore looking for a new book and began searching for something by Bill Hybels. I read his book Just Walk Across the Room and loved it. I like both his style of preaching and of writing. I only found one he wrote which did not really peak my interest at the moment so I search for something else. I thought...if I don't see something that stands out within the next 5 minutes I'm outta here. Then I saw a beautiful light blue book spine with a piece of chocolate on it. :) I picked up the book and the title and tag line resonated with me deeply. Not to mention the book cover itself is beautifully designed and as you open the book, the inside of the cover and the first page are a deep chocolate color....I'm a sucker for nice design! I went to Subway and began to read the reviews inside, and lo' and behold the first review was by Bill Hybels...who coincidentally is her dad! Crazy. Anywhoo...the book is so refreshing and her stories have inspired me to really take in all the Bittersweet parts of life and make the most of the season I find myself in right now. It has made me appreciate my youth, my friends and family, yummy food, simplicity...even my struggles, on a whole different level. So there is something perfect about reading it, on an extremely comfortable couch, hearing the rain fall, feeling the warmth of my pup on my feet, listening to Austin walk around the house, with my Christmas tree glowing, and the scent of my holiday candle in the air...knowing I have no where to be, nothing I absolutely have to do right now. Thank You Lord for allowing me all these pleasures that while seemingly small...mean the world to me. What a great Saturday.

The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. -Psalm 37:23

Who am I that YOU are Mindful of me?

2010-12-06T11:03:00.012-06:00

Ok...so obviously I am a Christian and I believe that God is real. But if I am honest, sometimes I let myself grow numb to the fact that He is REALLY REAL...and more than that, He is a REALLY BIG DEAL. Over the past couple of months I have had three of those moments when you just sit back and go, "Wow. Lord...You're real."

One was in September. A couple of years back I went through an amazing program called DownLine Ministries. They are gracious enough to allow past students the privilege to come and sit in on any of their current classes, so when I heard that Tom Nelson was coming back to teach on Daniel, I jumped at the chance. If you have not studied or listened to someone break down all the end times prophesy in Daniel, you are seriously missing out on some of the most jaw dropping stuff out there. I sat and listened, astounded that much of what was prophesied in the book has already come to pass. So much of it added up in such an unmistakable way. It was like a math problem that your teacher solves so easily...and then backs up to show you how she came to that conclusion. After the huge equation and formula is spelled out on the board you realize how perfectly all of it fits together. The Bible shows us the Answer, and if you study it, you get the pleasure of starting to see a wonderfully complex formula come into focus. Just hearing about what the final pieces to the puzzle are and the fact that one day Jesus in all His splendor and majesty will come back in a spectacular way, and our God will have some divine business to take care of....it all just made the hair stand up all over my body. This is not just the God that I speak to daily, the God I complain about work to, or laugh with or thank before I enjoy a latte....this is the Creator of the Universe! The King of Kings...the Alpha and the Omega! This is GOD. Wow.

Then a few days ago I decided to re-watch a documentary called The Star of Bethlehem. It is an absolutely fascinating film about an ordinary man who had his interest peaked by God to dig into the mystery of the North Star. He was a lawyer who had no prior interest in astronomy but could not stop reading and digging to find out as much as he could about this star. Could a star really guide people to a destination...how could a star just move and then stop over a city? Well, through much study and the modern conveniences of amazing software which allows you to see the constellations on any given day, he unraveled another part of God's intricate story. He saw scripture come alive in the sky. So much of which pointed to Jesus and His coming and even His death on the cross. It was FASCINATING. Please watch it, I could never do it justice by explaining it. But again, I sat there with my jaw on my lap....thinking, Oh my goodness...this God...Our God....is FOR REAL. He tells the stars what their places are, calling them out like actors in a magical play. He threw the universe into motion and all of His creation points to, and tells the story of His Son.. and His redemptive plan for us. Wow. How can we deny this?

And then, on a much smaller scale...but huge for me, was yesterday morning. I woke up at 6:45ish, and tried not move. You see, my dog Lola has this supernatural ability to be able to tell the exact moment when I have woken up, without me even moving or opening my eyes. But of course she knew I was awake and began pouting until I was annoyed enough to get up and take her out. We stepped out and I saw hundreds of birds flying over head. {I have come to the hypothesis that God created birds specifically to praise Him. Have you ever watched them? Especially at the dawning of a new day. They sing, and swoosh, and dip, and float, and play.....they are just so joyful. I really think they are praising Him.} But anywhoo...I digress. I took her out and she actually did her business in record time which was awesome because it had to have been the coldest morning in a very long time here....probably about 27 degrees. {that's arctic-like for Memphis} So we headed back to the door and I reached into my pocket for my keys.....nothing. Oh no!!! I couldn't believe it! I'd locked us out! I thought...there is no way Austin will wake up and figure out we're gone. I usually come back in and get on the couch with Lola to sleep some more, so surely he would think that's where I was. Then I thought about the first and last time I was locked out...Austin and I both...with Lola, and we ended up outside for 3 hours in the rain. We live in a condo, with a gated parking lot. So if you don't have your key card to get back in the building, and you don't have your gate opener to get out of the parking lot so that you can go up front to the call box....and you don't have a phone....you are out of luck. Your only hope is that someone will come out so that you can get in. So for a quick sec I panicked. I thought that maybe Lola and I wouldn't make it...it was freezing! Then I thought of how ridiculous that thought was and almost laughed at myself for thinking that I could die from a few hours of being cold. Then my eyes got watery and I almost began to cry knowing that it could be hours before anyone would be up and out on their way. Then I prayed. I said, "God, please...please...I know you can do all things....please let someone come out for something." Instantly I had a strange peace...as if The Holy Spirit had whispered in my spirit..."It's going to be ok." After spending about 5 minutes checking all the doors and realizing they were all locked, I began to pray again...and instantly a car pulled up front. I could see it through the window. And a wonderful girl whom I've never seen before, saw me knocking on the window and came to let us in. She looked like she was in a rush.. I think she must have just come by to pick something up from a friend....at 7:00 in the morning on a Sunday!!! I was soooo grateful!

God...the God of the past and of the present and the future, the God of the universe....GOD.....saw me in my parking lot, cold and on the verge of tears.....and cared. He, in all His majesty, Who is sitting on His heavenly throne...with angels praising and worshipping Him nonstop....answered my teeny, tiny prayer of hope and faith. He let me in from the cold....and at the same time thawed this heart of mine that tends to get numb and cold to the glorious recognition of His REALNESS. He is real my friends! And HE sees YOU. He loves YOU. Can there be anything better? Take comfort in that fact, and at the same time have some holy fear and reverence.

Oh Lord, let us never take for granted the extraordinary privilege it is for us....us teeny, tiny ones....to know YOU...The LORD of ALL.

LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory in the heavens. Through the praise of children and infants you have established a stronghold against your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger. When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them? You have made them a little lower than the angels and crowned them with glory and honor. - Psalm 8:1-5

The Artist...Known as God

2010-11-29T10:24:00.005-06:00

Recently The Lord has been relating to me on an "artist to artist" level. I've always been in awe of His handiwork. I love to sit and marvel while whispering praises to His Name for His outstanding sunsets and sunrises, starry skies and full moons, endless glistening oceans and striking spring and autumn trees. I've even been blessed to be able to gaze upon the dancing northern lights. What a sight! His creation, from the beautiful vistas to the joyfully praising song birds....all of it...is amazing to say the least. These are the things our Father has finished. He created them and looked at His creation and said, "It is good." And we get to see His finished work and repeat with Him, "Yes, it is very good."

I love to show off things I've finished. From a decorated room, to a drawing, to a beautifully presented meal, to a brochure at work...I love to unveil what I've been working on so tediously and watch for the reaction it receives.

It just dawned on me that The Father has let us in on the process of Him creating His ultimate masterpiece. In my pride, I cannot stand when someone looks over my shoulder or wants to see progress on what I am designing. It tends to look absolutely messy and totally unappealing, and in my perfectionist eyes, downright hideous during the process. Therefore, I like to cover up my work, hiding the jumbled mess until it is done and there is order and visual appeal. But our Father has left His work open for us all to see. In fact, open for us to take our part in it, so that we can all marvel together in the finished masterpiece...enjoying a small taste of the satisfaction the Artist receives when He looks at His finished and beautiful work.

So my friends take heart. In this life we will see many ugly things. Our world will at times seem messy and hideous and cluttered. We will think, "How will this ever be made beautiful? Lord why are you allowing this? How can You use this?" But as an artist, I know of the essential power of contrast. It is a design principle that is necessary to create something lovely. Without it, nothing would sparkle, nothing would pop, nothing would shine. Why do you suppose sunrises and sunsets are so breath taking? The contrast of the dark sky up against a radiant horizon creates the most amazing colors known to man and allows us to see the glistening sun, and the sparkling stars, and the glowing moon all at the same time! It's genius! And my friends, Our Lord, the ultimate Artist, does not waste anything. You, along with all your trials, and joys, and tears, will fit into the Master's mosaic. You may get to see the beauty of it now, as we often do, when our God so graciously works things out for us and others to see...or you may see it later, in a much larger and much more splendid way.

One day my dear friends, The Lord will unveil His masterpiece for us all to see. And the One holding all the pieces together will be our Savior, Jesus Christ. We will see how all the dark parts and pieces of history and our lives are used so strategically to make the glory and love of our Father and our Lord BURST FORTH all the more brilliantly! And we will cry out with joy at what our eyes will finally see. We will see what for all of our lives, we only caught glimpses of, what we barely tasted. That beauty and joy we savor here for mere moments will be ours for eternity. What a glorious inheritance! Nothing can compare. Do not let go of that hope my friends! It will not be disappointed.

That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” -1 Corinthians 2:9

“Look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth, and no one will even think about the old ones anymore. Be glad; rejoice forever in my creation! And look! I will create Jerusalem as a place of happiness. Her people will be a source of joy. I will rejoice over Jerusalem and delight in my people. And the sound of weeping and crying will be heard in it no more. - Isaiah 65:17-19

Birthday Surprise

2010-09-13T05:06:00.001-05:00

Saturday I woke up to my husband telling me he had a great idea. I nervously said...."Really, what is it?" He said, "Why don't we drive down to Oxford, MI and spend the day there? Lola (my dog) can stay with my parents. I already have hotel reservations....so pack enough for a day." I was so excited! I had a hunch that he had been planning a surprise for my birthday, but I was trying to not get any ideas baked in my head. Because....as you married ladies know, sometimes your man's version of a romantic surprise doesn't quite line up with yours. :) But after being a couple for 5 1/2 years, he got it! He totally nailed it!

We had a such an amazing time. It was wonderful. The town reminded me of my very favorite city...Savannah (where Austin and I fell in love). It was like a tiny miniature version of it. We walked around the square, went to a great book store, had some coffee and read outside (also in his plan...he knows me so well!), had dinner at a great restaurant with an amazing view of the square, watched HBO in bed (we don't have movie channels at home:), and had a great breakfast in the morning. All my favorite things in one trip! :)

God came along (of course) and really brought me encouragement and comfort. I was reading a great book called They Found the Secret. It is about the testimonies of twenty amazing pioneers of The Faith. I began to read about Andrew Murray. I kept saying..."Why does his name sound so familiar?" Then I realized I just ordered a couple copies of his book "Humility", which I heard is an absolute must read. Well his story touched my heart deeply. The author titled his life theme "The Abiding Life"...how wonderful to be known for being in a state of continual abiding in Christ.

Believe it or not, at one point in 1895 he and Amy Carmichael were guests in the same house. She wrote this about him after she noticed that he was in some sort of emotional pain....

"He was quiet for a while with his Lord, when he wrote these words himself:

"First, He brought me here, it is by His will I am in this strait place: in that fact I will rest.

Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as His child.

Then, He will make the trail a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.

Last, in His good time He can bring me out again - how and when He knows.

Let me say I am here,
1- By God's appointment,
2- In His keeping,
3- Under His training,
4- For His time."

Rest for a weary soul! Friends, let us take in these words. God is in control of whatever situation you are in. Wherever you are, He has put you there. Whatever you are doing He has you doing. Whoever you are around at the moment, He has you around. He has a reason and purpose for all things, and He will move you out and on when it is best. Let us not try and breeze through the seasons of our lives without enjoying what God is doing in the here and NOW. We are always looking to what is next but let us look at what is NOW. Let us abide in Him at all times taking in His lessons and His love in every season. There is so much joy to be had NOW. So much growing to be had NOW. So much life to be had NOW! What a refreshment this weekend was!

Thank you Lord for blessing me with such a cool breeze of weekend in the middle of the arid heat I have created for myself. I am refreshed and filled. Fill me more so that I could spill out to be a refreshment to others. Hold my hand and direct my heart this week and this year. Let it be an amazing 27th year! Let it be a time of growing and loving You deeper than I had ever imagined, and a year of fruit for others to enjoy. Thank You, and blessed be Your Holy and Precious Name! Amen.

My LORD, My JOY, My SONG, I will love YOU now and forever more......your child, honeybee :)

Let all that I am praise the Lord; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He redeems me from death and crowns me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle’s! -Psalm 103:1-5

The Pursuit of Holiness

2010-09-04T20:00:00.014-05:00

So lately it seems like I cannot do anything I put my mind to. What in the world is wrong with me?! I plan to wake up early to pray and study, and I ALWAYS sleep too long. I plan to write on this blog every week, and I ALWAYS put it off. I plan to be there more for my husband, and I ALWAYS wiggle out of it. (to name a few) Why can't I put an end to this struggle I have with sin in my life. My laziness and continual putting my husband low on my priority list is driving me nuts. The weird thing is that these are the things I look forward to most, (spending time with God, and spending time with my husband) and yet I seem to sabotage them. And for what?! For extra sleep or some extra tv/couch time? Are you kidding me? I think I realize how a drug or sex addict feels. After I have slept in too long, or laid on the couch and wasted my time once again, I have a heavy feeling of remorse. I feel dirty...like, "What have I done? Why do I keep doing this to myself?" It was kind of funny for a while, but now I am thoroughly fed up! (Angry even) Let's call it what it is....sin. When you are doing something you feel strongly convicted about, even if it is thought of as "socially acceptable", it is still sin and not pleasing to God. I can very easily see what Paul meant when he said this,

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. -Romans 7:21 - 8:2

Last week I went and picked up this book from the library. I cannot tell you how helpful it has been in my understanding of sin's role in my life. You see, just as the passage above stated, I was once a slave to sin. But when I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior the power of sin was lifted off of me. I was freed from it's dominion. But because I was born a slave to sin, my natural tendency is to revert to my slave mindset. I have allowed it reign over me too long. I have the power of the Holy Spirit living in me that, as hard as it may seem, will enable me to live a holy life...one that is pleasing to God and one that is clean and ready for His use. When we continue to live in habitual sin we are not fully abiding in The Vine that produces fruit in our lives.....and I am tired of being a fruitless Christian!

In the first chapter Jerry Bridges outlines three reasons why we as Christians today do not experience more holiness in our daily living...

1. "Our first problem is that our attitude towards sin is more self-centered than God-centered. We are more concerned about our own 'victory' over sin than we are about the fact that our sins grieve the heart of God. We cannot tolerate failure in our struggle with sin chiefly because we are success-oriented, not because we know it is offensive to God."

2. "Our second problem is that we have misunderstood 'living by faith' to mean that no effort at holiness is required on our part. In fact, sometimes we have even suggested that any effort on our part is 'of the flesh'."

3. "Our third problem is that we do not take some sin seriously. We have mentally categorized sins into that which is unacceptable and that which is may be tolerated a bit.....But scripture says it is 'the little foxes that ruin the vineyards.' It is compromise on the little issues that lead to greater downfalls."

All three of these reasons were true in my struggle.

I have decided to live as a free woman. To see sin the way God sees it and to stop giving in so easily to it. I need to see the fact that it not only takes away from the fruitfulness of my walk with God, but it grieves Him deeply. Also, I cannot keep thinking that He will magically give me some special power to effortlessly break my bad habits....it is going to hurt, but I have do some work on my end. Lastly I cannot see my sins as cute or trivial. Christ died for my laziness and wastefulness just as much as He died for sexual immorality and right out cruelty.

I am happy to say that in the past week God has truly streghtened me as I have dug my heals into the dirt to press on to the call which He has placed on my life. Will you run this race with me? Will you determine with me that sin cannot have a place in your life if you plan to be used fully by God? Search our hearts Lord. Know our anxious thoughts....point out anything in us that is offensive to You...and lead us along the path everlasting. Amen.

In a wealthy home some utensils are made of gold and silver, and some are made of wood and clay. The expensive utensils are used for special occasions, and the cheap ones are for everyday use. If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work. - 2 Timothy 2:20-21

Well DONE My Good & Faithful Servant

2010-08-22T21:50:00.016-05:00

The Parable of the Talents

Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. To one he gave five talents of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.

"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'

"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'

"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him.' - Luke 19:11-26

I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to start things with a bang and then inadvertently let them fizzle to nothingness. What's the deal? The older I get, the more I can clearly see this pattern in my life. I am about to be 27 now, and have decided to change this habit before I turn 30. I am on the quest to truly see things through. To stick with them no matter how ineffective and unproductive they may seem in the middle of it all. No matter how much my flesh tells me to stop or how insistently the devil whispers in my ear that I am in over my head! I love this passage by Paul...hear his determination:

Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. - 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

What is it that God has given you? What "currency" has He placed in your hand that you are to invest in His Kingdom? He gives us all "talents", or better said spiritual gifts, to build up and further His family. What are yours? If you are unsure please take this test. It is the best spiritual gifts test I have ever taken because it includes a great analysis at the end.

Sure you are saved by grace when you believe in and give your heart to Christ, but that should never be the end of your Christian story. My pastor, Brian Lorrits, put it perfectly. He spoke of the day when all of God's children will be united in glory with Christ (the Bema Judgement) and compared it to his college graduation. His undergrad career was spent just getting by...just doing enough to pass. When it was time to graduate he was exciting about the fact that he made it. But as he looked at the program he noticed the student's names who went above and beyond. Some were honored as their names were called...cum lade...magna-cum lade...suma cum-lade...he said he was just happy to graduate "thank-da-Lorde". In the mist of all the celebration he couldn't help but feel a sense of deep regret. He wished he had tried harder. He wished he had maintained the same level of excitement and enthusiasm he had when he first started school. The joy it would have been to look back knowing that he gave it all he had, and that he finished well. This portion of scripture sums it up well...

The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.

By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames. - 1 Cor 3:8-15

Let's not live life that way. We get saved and are so excited at first just thinking of all God will do through us. Then slowly but surely that excitement wears off, and we are distracted by the fleeting pleasures and concerns of this life. We do just enough to get by with God, and figure...oh well, He understands.

God has created you for a purpose...for a very specific reason. Don't be like the wicked and lazy servant and bury your talent...and then have to stand before Jesus ashamed, knowing that you are saved by His Blood, but also knowing that you wasted the majority of your life and the precious gift(s) that were given to you.

Listen, it is so easy to fall away from doing good. It is easy to become tired, discouraged and distracted in this life, but please hold on! Just as a bird would not be happy if you took away its voice, and a cheetah would become distressed if it could no longer run, so you will never know what it is to live if you do not do what you have been created to do! So my friends, join me in the holy pursuit to find out, start out and see out the blessed tasks to which we have been assigned...that one day we may stand before our Beautiful Redeemer and hear those sweet and glorious words....."Well done my good and faithful servant."

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. - Galatians 6:7-9

Me and My Big Mouth

2010-08-04T18:27:00.016-05:00

So yesterday on my way to work, I thought, hmmm, I need to call Katie back (I never talk on the phone in the mornings)....and hmmm...I am going to try a different route today. Well, turns out, a nice cop lady was just waiting for a well meaning, oblivious individual like me to come along. As I talked to my friend I saw the blue lights go off and thought, "What did I do wrong? I wasn't speeding, I used my blinker, I recently updated my registration sticker....what in the world could she be pulling me over for?" She came up to me and asked, "Did you know it is illegal to talk on the phone while driving?" to which I answered, "Oh...no I didn't."....to which she responded, "License and proof of insurance."....and proceeded to give me a ticket.

You see at this point, there was no room for me to try and justify my actions. I felt wronged...after all, I didn't mean it. I wasn't trying to break the law. But when it came down to it, I just needed to accept the correction, and know that talking on the phone while driving was not acceptable in the future.

This reminds me of another occasion when my mouth got me in trouble. This past weekend while spending time with some dear friends I unintentionally offended one of them. I felt overly comfortable, and our friendly banter led to me saying something in a "joking" way that was wrong. Now, I did not quite handle it like I did my ticket. I tried to justify and rationalize what I said. I felt in my heart that I did not mean it like it came out, and that everyone had blown it out of proportion. I felt like I was the victim....I was just sorely misunderstood.

Well, I went home and tried to forget about it. They joked it off and said it wasn't a big deal. But I knew deep inside that the tension still lingered. Come Monday I find out that my words really did offend one of them deeply. At first I got mad, and thought, well why didn't he say something earlier...why did he pretend like it was ok...I'm sure he's said worse....yada, yada, yada....etc, etc, etc. But as much as I tried to justify my behavior I did not feel better.....in fact I felt worse.

I went to lunch alone to pray and seek God. As I sat there whining to God about the unfairness of how I was perceived, I felt He was not going along with my pity party. I opened my Bible and He took me to scriptures like...

Ephesians 4:29 - Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

Ephesians 5:4 - Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.

Colossians 4:6 - Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

James 1:19 - Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

James 3:5-6 - In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

1 Peter 2:1 - So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech.

and then this one....

James 5:16 - Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

It looked like God was telling me to examine myself....and ONLY myself. As I took a look the Holy Spirit showed me that my words came from a prideful and arrogant place. He showed me that as much as I wanted to believe that my heart was in the right, it wasn't. He also showed me other comments I've made in the name of "fun" and convicted me. Let EVERYTHING you say be good and helpful....I have a long way to go, but am happy that my friends were honest and that God used them to show me my sin. I called my friend and sincerely apologized....no justifying or explaining....just a straight out apology. It was a good change for me. Hopefully this will be a continued trend in my life...Shut my mouth when I have nothing good to say, and open it when it's time to admit wrong.

So my friends, let my mistakes be a lesson for you. Read over these scriptures, as hard as they may seem to live out, and pray that God would help you to be a woman or man who speaks words of wisdom, kindness, and encouragement. Pray that your unlovely thoughts and attitudes would be exposed to you in private, before they come out of your mouth in public.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. - Psalm 19:14

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. - Psalm 139:23-24

You must have no gods before me....

2010-07-25T20:38:00.032-05:00

First off, let me say, it's great to be back! I had quite a long, unplanned break, but I hope to keep these more consistent from now on. I felt a strong tug to get back on the horse after reading a book that has climbed to the top of my favorite list.

Let me give you a little background. The past few months have been ones of transition for me. I was at a job where I was less than happy, and had been asking God to direct me somewhere else for years. Finally in February, at the peak of my discomfort, a glimmer of hope appeared. Seemingly out of nowhere, my friend texted me about a position as a graphic designer at her company. My excitement grew at the thought of starting fresh, and taking on the challenge of a new design field. The process of interviews and emails went on for nearly 3 months! The entire time as I sought God, and He directed my steps, opening one door after another. Finally, it was time to move on...finally, I thought, I might be happy.

You see, I was putting my hope in this job. I was under the impression that if I could be happy in my job (where I spend most of my waking hours), my life would great. The first two months were just that. I praised God every day. Then...turbulence. I hit a bit of rough air and I wondered why God would allow it. I realized that during the few months when things were great, my relationship with Him was not as strong as usual. Sure I praised Him, but I didn't spend as much time in prayer and in His Word because, really if I get down to it...subconsciously, I didn't feel like I "needed" Him. My circumstances were good.

A few weeks ago, I picked up the book Counterfeit Gods, by Tim Keller. After reading the introduction I could not put it down. God began to show me many things I had been putting my hope in and basing my joy on rather than Him. That week my church began a sermon series on the book, which drove the point home even further with me. The following are some great ideas to ponder from the book...the first one in particular pierced my heart.....

*Do you see God as the end, or as a means to the end?
*...the human heart takes good things like a successful career, love, material possessions, even family, and turns them into ultimate things. Our hearts deify them as the center of our lives, because, we think, they can give us significance and security, safety and fulfillment, if we attain them.
*If anything becomes more fundamental than God to your happiness, meaning in life, and identity, then it is an idol.
*A counterfeit god is anything so central and essential to your life that, should you lose it, your life would feel hardly worth living.

Now... here are some of mine...and a few questions to help you spot yours....

1. What do you enjoy imagining?
2. What are your fondest dreams?
3. What do you fear most?
4. What, if you lost it, would make life not worth living?
5. What makes you uncontrollably angry, anxious, or despondent?

>Whatever controls us is our lord. The person who seeks power is controlled by power. The person who seeks acceptance is controlled by the people he or she wants to please. We do not control our lives. We are controlled by the lord of our lives.

Wow! Sorry...I know this is lengthy, but this is such a crucial subject! These things are so sneaky, that I think I may have been able to go through my entire life committing "spiritual adultery" and not knowing it. But God is too good to not expose my decieved heart, by allowing all that I had placed my hope in, for my joy, peace, security, and identity to continually let me down miserably.

So...you must be asking, "I think I know what my idols are, but how in the world do I stop worshipping them?" There is only one answer to that question. Since the heart must worship SOMETHING, the only way to get rid of an idol is to replace it. Your heart must so deeply adore, hope in, and delight in God that it pushes out all other gods. (easier said than done) It takes much seeking, praying, worshiping, and thinking on the goodness of God for that to happen. Now that I am so painfully aware of my idolatrous heart, I am in constant prayer that God would help me redirect my affections....because I have come to the sad realization that as good as my intentions are, I cannot trust myself.

I am happy to say that work has been much better. My circumstances have not necessarily changed, but I am trying to put my trust, and joy in God. It's a one day at a time type thing. He is the only steady force...the only One who can ever deliver what He says He can.

My friends, don't fool yourselves into thinking that you can't possibly be looking to something else as your "functional savior". Think about this seriously, and pray that God would open your eyes to see any area where your heart does not belong to Him. Then ask Him to help you to fall so deeply in love with Him that there will be no room for anything else to take His rightful place. Make time to pray, to be involved in a local body of believers, and to meditate on His word. Think of Him often, and reflect on His beauty and goodness. Learn The Practice of the Presence of God. He will be faithful to draw near to you as you draw near to Him.

Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world. - James 4:8

You must not have any other gods but me. - Exodus 20:3

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your hearts desires. - Psalm 37:4

Jesus replied, " You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. - Matthew 22:37

* The ideas in the post came straight from Counterfeit Gods. Read it...you'll never be the same.

Ride the Roller Coaster

2010-01-02T12:24:00.032-06:00

2009 was quite the year for me. I had at least 7 great "roller coaster" moments...you know, that feeling you get as you are slowly going up...when you can see how high you are and all the itty bitty people below...you hear the car click up each track as the wind sweeps gently through your hair, and you say "Why in the world did I decide to do this!"...all you want to do is cry and get back on safe ground. Well....being the loving Father He is, God handed me plenty of those moments. Most of them had to do with speaking in front of an audience...Lord knows that is one of my worst fears! Whenever a speaking opportunity was on the horizon, I could feel my heart race, and I literally felt like crying, and backing out. But by His grace, and His grace alone, I got through, stunningly surprised at the peace He gave me and the clarity that came. Isn't it crazy that each time another opportunity arose I dealt with the same anxiousness? He got me through before, I should have known He'd get me through again. It's the roller coaster effect. Each time you get butterflies, or if you are like me, you get a jack rabbit thumping his feet in your chest!

Why?...why do we put ourselves through the craziness of the roller coaster? Why do we bring ourselves to the place where every inkling of who we are says..."NO, NO, NO....are you crazy?!!" Because....otherwise, we would never get to feel alive. We would never know the rush of the wind as we scream and laugh and shout! We would never see the world in perspective...the beautiful horizon in the distance, the ground beneath, the sun and the stars...all at once! What a rush! What a ride! Who ever regrets getting on? No one. Even if you cried....you most certainly laughed too. It's worth it, it's amazing.

In this life you will never accomplish what God has for you if you decide not to ride. If you choose to play it safe, you can count on missing out on the "life more abundantly" Jesus speaks of. A Christ centered life involves risk...it involves blood, sweat and tears...but without those things how would you know what true joy is?

So my friends, as we go into 2010, let me ask you to do one thing......ride! Ride the roller coaster, even if your legs are giving out on you. Even if you can think of 1o1 reasons it would make sense not to. Ask God...."Lord, what is my roller coaster? What area do I need to trust You in? What step should I take? Show me, cause I wanna ride." And then get ready! He seems to be the biggest thrill seeker there is...and as you ride, can you think of a better person's hand to hold than His? I'm sure He has put dreams in your heart, so go with Him, strap yourself in, throw up your hands and ride!

But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. - Matthew 14:28-30

"What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step." -CS Lewis

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” -T. S. Eliot

For nothing is impossible with God. - Luke 1:37

A Plan Everyday, Keeps the Apples on the Way

2009-12-01T18:05:00.027-06:00

Then Jesus told this story:

“A man planted a fig tree in his garden and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but he was always disappointed. Finally, he said to his gardener, ‘I’ve waited three years, and there hasn’t been a single fig! Cut it down. It’s just taking up space in the garden.’

“The gardener answered, ‘Sir, give it one more chance. Leave it another year, and I’ll give it special attention and plenty of fertilizer. If we get figs next year, fine. If not, then you can cut it down.’” -Luke 13:6-9

I don't know about you....but this story convicts me. I have a bit of a problem with procrastination. I feel like the major cause of it is my perfectionism, which often results in laziness. I wait till the last minute to do something because I always feel like I can do a better job later. Now is never a good enough time. But take this story into consideration. We have no idea when Jesus is going to come back, or call us home, and ask "Where's the fruit?" Are you just taking up space on this earth? What would you do if Jesus came to you right now and evaluated what your life has produced? Would you be like this guy and say..."Oh, please...give me a few more years...I'll pay special attention to the things that matter to You, and when you come back again there should be plenty of fruit!" I know I would. There is much that I put off, much to which that I say, "Oh, later I'll do a great job at that...later I will be inspired enough, smart enough, mature enough, experienced enough to do that." We don't know if we'll have a later.

Lately, I have been determined to develop a schedule for myself. A prioritized schedule. (I need your prayers on this one) It's been a huge challenge to actually do something early, before the pressure sets in...that is not how I work. I tend to need pressure...but it becomes hard to run a life that way when demands pile on top of demands. Things that are important get dropped, and although some things get done...none get done well. I'm sure you can relate.

So what am I getting to....as we embark on the new year, make it a priority to set your priorities! Your time with God first and foremost, your family, your work, your time pouring into and blessing others, keeping your house clean :), working out, taking time to plan for the dreams God has placed on your heart! The list goes on and on! Be very intentional with this precious and limited commodity. Don't sleep longer than you need to, don't sit in front of the tv longer than you need to, don't get distracted by the deceptive pleasures and pursuits that this world has to offer...you have an assignment and you've been hanging at the water cooler shooting the breeze far too long...sooner or later your Boss is going to want to see what you've produced with the resources He's provided.

The quickest way to reach your destination is to have a map....so stay focused and plan well!

As long as it is day, we must do the work of Him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. -John 9:4

The Old and the Beautiful

2009-11-02T20:16:00.016-06:00

Do you ever think about getting old? I do...a lot actually . It may seem strange, but I am really excited about growing old. Every year that passes makes me happy because I know I am growing in God and am becoming more comfortable in my own skin. I feel like as you get older you realize how unimportant the unimportant things are, and begin to hone in on the things that really matter.

One day, early in my Christian walk, a godly man spoke a few prophetic words over me...and I will add that much of what he said has already come to pass....but one thing he said really stuck out to me...."You will be a godly woman, even in your old age."

Last year I went to a 70th birthday party for a woman named Mrs. Beasley. She is a friend of Austin's mom. I arrived thinking it was just going to be another party...sit, eat, and attempt to make pleasant conversation. It was far from it. I sat in amazement as person after person got up on the microphone and told simple yet beautiful stories about how Mrs. Beasley made a profound impact on their lives. It was as simple as her opening her life to theirs...giving them her time, wisdom, and love. She seemed to have such a welcoming and understanding spirit about her. At one point during the party the MC asked everyone who considered themselves to be one of her "daughters" to stand...there had to be at least 20 women who stood...in a room of about 50 or 60. I was enthralled by this woman's beauty.

At the end of the party everyone took turns going up to chat and take pictures with her. I felt uncomfortable...because I did not really know her...and I'm shy...so I didn't say anything to her but hello and happy birthday. I wanted so badly for her to look my way and speak wisdom to me. (don't ask me why....I just had a sudden and strange desire for some type of interaction with her)....Well, as I stood and watched her talk enthusiastically with another family she looked over my way and suddenly says...."You are beautiful!" I was flattered...but instantly in my mind the thought came, "But I want to be beautiful on the inside"....and no joke....she turns right back around and says, "And your beautiful on the inside too." I was amazed! She didn't even know me...what a strange thing to say....But then again...I knew it was my God speaking to me....ensuring me that one day, I too would have my turn to be counted among the old and the beautiful....and the work had already begun.

May we strive to be the kind of women that pour out our wisdom and our love on the less experienced in life. May we build them up, and bless them with the fruit that God has produced in our lives. May we teach them, guide them, warn them, encourage them, and instruct them in ways of the righteous. May the light of our lives become brighter and brighter with each day that passes!

But the path of the righteous is like the dawning light, that shines more and more until the perfect day. -Proverbs 4:18

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The LORD is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him." -Psalm 92:12-15

The One who picks us up again....

2009-10-19T21:38:00.015-05:00

Last Friday night was great. I got off work early and cleaned my house, and since Austin was at a basketball game I got to pick anything I wanted to watch on tv. I found a movie called Then She Found Me. It was an unexpected treat. Helen Hunt directed and stared in this movie about a middle aged woman who had faith in God, and then through the devastating disappointment of having a miscarriage (losing the only hope of a child she ever had in her 39 years of living) she lost her faith in the goodness of the One she had trusted. She prayed constantly throughout the movie, but after her miscarriage she decides to go through artificial insemination, and is suddenly cold. Her mother confronts the fact that she is not praying about something so big, and through tears...in gut wrenching realization...she says she used to believe...she used to believe God was good.

The movie began and ended with a story, which seemed bazaar to me at first but made perfect sense in the end.....

She begins...there's an ordinary "Jewish joke” about a father who is teaching his son to have more courage and be less afraid. He puts his son on the second step and says, “Jump and I’ll catch you.” So the boy, although very afraid, did, and his father caught him. Then on the third and fourth step, and so on. She continues the story...The boy jumped from a very high step – but this time, the father stepped back and the boy fell flat on his face. He picked himself up, bleeding and crying and his father said to him, “That’ll teach you."

At the end of the film, you see her with an adopted child (something she swore she would never do, since she herself was adopted and desperately wanted a biological child)...but she is glowing...she has a quiet, but radiant, and overflowing joy about her.

She repeats the story at the end of the movie but this time she adds something....“When he caught him, the boy was filled with love, and when he didn’t, he was filled with something else, something more – LIFE. Amen.”

What an amazing message! God very often places us on steps...steps that we must leap off of with faith. He catches us, most of the time, and allows us to land in His comforting arms. But occasionally He may allow a fall...who knows why. But my friends....I can testify that a fall usually leads to the very thing He has planned for us....something that if following our planned route we would never have stumbled on ourselves. Something amazing...that you look at and say..Wow, if God hadn't allowed that...this would never have been possible. True life....unforeseeable, unpredictable, and undeniably God filled life. What a joy to see His handiwork!

Perhaps you are facing a difficult season in your life. Perhaps you wonder...God where have You gone. Don't You see what's happening? Why would You allow this? Dear one....know this....HE IS GOOD. No matter how much your circumstances are telling you He is not...KNOW that HE IS...and He will most certainly pick you up again...clean you off, and smile at you, as you look around and realize the beautiful place HE has plopped you.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

Extreme God Makeover

2009-10-12T21:17:00.026-05:00

I recently bought Francesca Battistelli's record, and I love it. I usually hear one song on the radio, love it, and then regret buying the entire album. In this case I found songs that I loved way more than what the stations were playing.

One song in particular has really hit home with me. It's called Beautiful, Beautiful. Story of my life!

Don’t know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly Your grace
(Chorus)
Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, beautiful
Now there’s a joy inside I can’t contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it’s pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face
(Chorus)
I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your grace
(Chorus)

I recently had another one of my long conversations with my mom about how good God has been in each of our lives. (When He saved me He ended up getting my mom and dad as well) We were so different 7 years ago. Our minds and our hearts have been changed so drastically since then. Our desires and dreams are turning into something beautiful---outside of ourselves. We've got a long way to go, but.....man...has He done a work in us!

She mentioned that she and my dad were cleaning out a few things from my room (now their guestroom:) and found some old pictures of me. She said she barely recognized me---that the girl she saw in the pictures did not even seem like the girl she knows today. Truth be told, I don't recognize myself either. This is how I know God exists....only He could have changed me this much, only He could have given me the love that lives in my heart today.

Have you ever stopped to think about how the Lord has changed your heart? About where He has taken you from, and how different your life could be if you did not know Him? Perhaps you don't know Him---what is stopping you? Whatever it is, believe me....it can only lead to emptiness...I know from experience. You will never regret the day you call on Him.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. -2 Corinthians 5:17

Just for fun, I thought I'd show a before and after. Try to hold your laughter. :) Who but Jesus could have seen past the surface to what could be?

We chat over coffee

2009-10-03T11:52:00.016-05:00

Almost every morning for the past year or so, I have been meeting God for coffee. Thanks to my friend Stephanie, I found this lovely place. I don't know about you, but it has been a constant struggle for me to have a really consistent prayer and study time. I got married about 2 years ago, and we moved into a small and very open condo. I have the attention span of a two year old when it comes to sitting still....so Austin and little Lola (as much as I love them both) completely distract me! ....and it doesn't help that if I sit at home for more than 15 minutes without moving around or working on something, I drift into mind numbing sleepiness, and on many occasions full on naps!

So, my solution....get out of the house! It has worked out perfectly for me. I stop in for a while before my day begins and attach myself to the Vine.

This is the cozy sunroom I hide in...away from the chatter.

And this is the table I sit at with my usual tasty accompaniments. The BEST latte and cinnamon toast you can find anywhere. (Don't judge the toast from this post....today's was not the best...a bit on the burnt side:)

On top of all of that...God has opened the door for me to make some great new friends here as well. :)

So my friends....where do you meet with God? Do you have a special place you go to talk to Him? To learn His Word? It could be as simple as your couch or dining table (that is if you don't have my problem). Ask God to reveal to you where He would like to meet with you. Then keep it up! I know better than anyone how easy it is to allow long periods of time between your meetings. But I also know how easy it is to get back on track, and how absolutely beneficial and necessary it is to have a regular devotional time.

Making yourself available to Him is essential to being used by Him. And how wonderful it is to see His work in and through you! It just doesn't get better than that!

You will know Him more, love Him more, and recognize His voice more. Joyce Meyer once made an analogy about talking with a loved one on the phone. Typically, even if they try, they cannot disguise their voice....you know who it is immediately, because you talk to them all the time. Same with God, the more you talk to Him the more you can discern His voice.

Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:4-5

A Day at the Park

2009-09-26T20:43:00.016-05:00

I had such high hopes for my weekend alone with God. I pictured sunshine and butterflies, and cool breezes on horseback rides. :) But come Friday morning, I woke up to a dreary charcoal sky. I planned to leave early and get my weekend started with a tasty latte and some warm cinnamon toast at my favorite coffee shop...coupled with a few hours of reflection and study. That, however, was now out of the question because the day before I decided I would fast. (thanks to a dear friend who graciously fasted with me) With the coffee shop out, and home not being an option (way too many distractions) where was I going to go? The sky looked like it would fall out at any moment....but I felt a nudging to go to a park in town called Shelby Farms. I said, "Ok God, I'll go...if it rains, it rains...but I need to hear from You."

I arrived and drove around to find a quiet and solitary spot. I saw a bench in the distance by a lake. I parked and made my way down. As I arrived I noticed the bench was lop-sided, and dirty, and there was spider on it. I tried not to think of it and sat down. Then a giant insect buzzed ferociously around my head...and I thought, "Lord! Can You please make this a little easier on me!" I turned around and saw a picnic bench in an abandoned, and not so pretty playground. I walked over and sat. As I began to pray aloud, the heavens gave way to rain. I then noticed a little roof on this bench that was keeping me completely dry. I stepped up on the table and sat there reading and praying. The rain and thunder levels varied but during the heaviest pours I felt safe and comforted in the shelter. It was actually kind of beautiful to hear the rain fall on the leaves and to see the droplets on the lake. Also, on two occasions a beautiful white crane swept, ever so graciously, across the lake - her reflection glistening in the gray water. I asked God to let me know when to leave by stopping the rain. A little over two hours went by and then there was silence. I left.

I was expecting God to have me magically turn to a scripture that would tell me how to move. I wanted Him to very clearly speak to my heart telling me which way to go. I felt as if He hadn't said anything.

That night I found myself reading about a common theme...Waiting on the Lord (not what I wanted to hear). I read about enduring my situation gracefully and peacefully while never loosing hope in the One who loves me most...and a couple of days later I realized what our morning together was about.

The Lord gave me a beautiful analogy: During the beginning years of my Christianity I had always assumed - follow God and you will have a great, seemingly trouble free life. I looked forward to sunshine, butterflies, and cool breezes on horseback rides. :) Now as I celebrate 7 years in relationship with Jesus, I have come to realize that that isn't necessarily the case.

"In this world you will have trouble".....Isn't that what Jesus told us? He also said, "But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Things did not go as expected that day. But in it all God provided shelter from the rain. He covered me and allowed me to find peace and see the beauty in the storm. He also clearly let me know when to move.

You may be in a storm right now. Perhaps you feel like you are drowning, like you are stuck, like there is no hope. My friend, take heart! The Lord sees you, and you can be certain that He will provide a shelter in the rain. Turn around, step into His covering, and wait well.

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. - Psalm 62:5

I'm a blogger!

2009-09-26T20:09:00.002-05:00

For those of you who know me well, you may be surprised that I am doing this. I am too. :) Lately I have been keeping a journal of prayers and experiences, primarily so that I can always remember what God has done in my life (we tend to forget so easily), but also in hopes to one day compile some of them to pass on to our furture children, who will hopefully add their stories to pass on to theirs, so that the legacy of God in our family will not be forgotten.

Some of you have been the recipients of a couple of these journal entries via email. I was about to send out another entry, when the idea popped into my head..."why don't you start a blog and make this your your first post?" So here I am. I may include a few illustrations from time to time, just cause...I like to draw :)...and these sketches help me remember my experiences even more. Thanks to those of you who will read these....I hope these bless you.